Things the boyfriend has to eat

Ask me anything   These are things I cook for dinner. (and some other meals)

And this is what I cook when I’ve come in drunk and make dinner whilst dyeing my hair from white blonde back to my natural black.
I would call it a tragedy of a meal but it involves too many sausages for that. :)

And this is what I cook when I’ve come in drunk and make dinner whilst dyeing my hair from white blonde back to my natural black.

I would call it a tragedy of a meal but it involves too many sausages for that. :)

— 9 months ago

It’s been hot in Britain recently. Also I’ve been working a lot. Both of these things have combined to create a scenario whereby I find myself quite Unable To Be Arsed about dinner.

So, some things I cook when I can’t be bothered-

1. Aubergine braised with soy sauce, garlic and honey, drizzled with balsamic vinegar, atop a bed of cucumber and fast-boiled asparagus.

2. This is a pretty spectacularly non-arsed one- chicken pan-braised with chillis and garlic, grilled cherry tomatoes, watercress salad and for some reason flaked cheddar cheese??? with balsamic vinegar, black pepper.

3. Grilled peppers topped with cheese and cured meats (so, yes, like a pizza but a pepper) with root vegetable crisps, tzatziki, salad with a mango and lime juice dressing.

4. Beetroot and coconut chicken curry, pak choi salad dressed with balsamic vinegar, coconut flakes and soy sauce, pak choi leaves dressing the curry.

5. SPECTACULARLY greasy stuffed, grilled bell pepper which I think is just parma ham, chopped baby plum tomatoes, cinnamon, oregano and about half a pound of cheese (it would appear) with very shallow braised-prawns, deglazed with lime juice, watercress salad.

6. Fried, chopped scallops and king prawns with broad beans, chilli, onion, garlic, coriander, some cumin from the look of it, black soba noodles.

Really have to get back to doing some real cooking again soon. Mind you, the next post should demonstrate my occasional true non-arsedness.

— 9 months ago
Prawn and beetroot salad; that lurid, bubblegum pink is the joyous result of shallow-cooking the prawns in about half an inch of water, with chopped chillis and garlic and then adding, right at the end, a little honey and a couple of teaspoons of sour cream and just a few bits of beetroot, taking it off the head and stirring it until the colour was even.
It’s so pretty and bright, it sort of looks ludicrously artificial but obviously it’s totally natural. I just about resisted the urge to put cake sparkles on the top…

Prawn and beetroot salad; that lurid, bubblegum pink is the joyous result of shallow-cooking the prawns in about half an inch of water, with chopped chillis and garlic and then adding, right at the end, a little honey and a couple of teaspoons of sour cream and just a few bits of beetroot, taking it off the head and stirring it until the colour was even.

It’s so pretty and bright, it sort of looks ludicrously artificial but obviously it’s totally natural. I just about resisted the urge to put cake sparkles on the top…

— 10 months ago
#prawns  #beetroot  #salad 

Clockwise from top: A terrible salad, some alright salads.

One of these salads was served to me in a gastropub for £12.95. In the pub’s defense, they took it away and gave me a free alternative. Not in their defense, it looked fucking terrible and tasted wet; this is not how to do a salad.

The other two were made by me. One of them was made by me while I was drunk and hungry, in fact. And they look and tasted better. So I figure maybe it’s time to school the world on HOW THE FUCK YOU MAKE A SALAD.

STEP ONE:

CUT UP SOME FUCKING GREEN THINGS usually. There are salads without but let’s assume you’re making a bowl of it. Crispy lettuce is nice- I think the terrible salad is made of romaine lettuce hearts that have just been pulled off the stalk and washed- BE VERY SELECTIVE ABOUT THIS unless you are very carefully arranging it, you better chop those leaves up or else how am I meant to eat it with one hand and a fork like a woman laughing alone?

The second salad uses watercress as its green thing. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD if you’re using watercress pull the stalks apart so you don’t end up with neverending greenery hanging out of your and/or your guests’ mouths.

STEP TWO:

OTHER THINGS. You can put anything you like in a salad! Don’t go over-mental but why not try some passionfruit seeds, to go with spicy chicken or tofu? Or a few olives? Put some tomatoes in. A salad is a mix of things! I think the second two both have thinly sliced radishes in, for a nice crisp taste- try to have different textures and a range of sweet

Some things won’t totally go together the first time you try them; that’s ok. Just put some other element other than fat old leaves of romaine lettuce and barely defrosted crayfish in it.

STEP THREE:

PUT IT TOGETHER SO IT DOESN’T LOOK TERRIBLE. Seriously this is not ‘throwing it all around with some salad forks and putting in a bowl, unless it’s at a fucking barbecue. ARRANGE IT ON THE PLATE it looks much better and takes all of 30 seconds. This is especially applicable if you are a gastropub looking to charge £12.95 for this salad.

STEP FOUR:

Add dressing. Maybe check with your guests first because some people prefer things undressed but also it’s your recipe so fuck ‘em. You can use things other than just plain ol’ olive oil and vinegar; sesame oil can be very nice with poultry or beef, truffle oil goes well with mushrooms, beetroot and deep game-y flavours (pigeon salads are all the rage for yr gastrochef currently) if you’re absolutely loaded (otherwise some garlic-infused oil, for the rest of us) and groundnut oil goes well with tangy flavours such as rocket. Balsamic vinegar is sweet, rice vinegar is tangy, lime juice is fresh and dry- add some pepper, add some of the juices from cooking any bit of the salad you’ve cooked, add sesame seeds or poppyseeds, add chopped chives or coriander or salad mustard (cress) -adding a little mustard and honey to your oil or vinegar is a good way to further spice up the dressing. Add flakes of cheese if you like, I don’t fucking care. Just don’t pour on a big bottle of something so gloopy it will drown; dressing should compliment the ingredients, not smother them. Yes, I know, I also want a whole bottle of ranch dressing but like, get yourself some breadsticks and dip it, dude.

A NOTE ON DRESSING: if you are serving meat or fish, you don’thaaaaveto toss them in the dressing separately but if it’s something thick then it’s a good idea. Otherwise just drizzle it the fuck on.

STEP FIVE:

Eat it. Yeah.

— 10 months ago
#salad  #salads 

Do you ever, Mogfood readers, look through your folders of photos of food and think ‘Christ, what the hell is this? When did I make it? Is that a salmon or what?

These are, I think.

1) salmon and leeks and dill and peas, with a black treacle salted caramel sauce- I think this was a practice run for something I was doing for when Mr Mogfood’s family came round to meet mine (naturally I endeavoured to make this event stress-free by cooking three different meals; whoops) but honestly I am not even sure. Salmon and dill and something sweet and salty is probably my favourite thing- I am obsessed with salmon teriyaki to an almost pathological degree.

2) A… currry? With… chicken? No, actually, I’m pretty sure this is a grated carrot-based curry. I don’t know what you’d call that except it tastes good; you fry up onions and meat/fish, if you’re using it, spice in the pan and then mix in the grated carrot, with a bit of stock. It works best with the more aniseed-y, fennel-y spices and a touch of bitter fenugreek to stop it all getting out of control.Wilted spinach on the side, there.

3) This is chicken and creamy, herby leeks. Cheap-ass way to a less fatty cream sauce: throw in some cream cheese. I know this is the sort of thing they tell you on the Philadelphia adverts and everyone does a little dry boak but if you take it off the heat to fold it in, it’s fine and with something as sweet as leeks or other aliums, much fresher than cream but err, less fresh than creme fraiche, which can be a bit too tangy in your mouth unless it’s carefully balanced.

4) Beef strips and beansprouts in some kind of dark sauce that I think must be red onion and soy broth? We just don’t know.

— 10 months ago
Roast chicken leg with a Thai inspired sage and coconut curry puree, wild red rice tossed through with rice vinegar and mixed with flash-boiled samphire, roast chestnut mushrooms and caramel coated baked sage leaves.
I am aware that sounds like nothing that should go together but it did. HOWEVER, do not attempt to reheat this the next day at work. Ever.

Roast chicken leg with a Thai inspired sage and coconut curry puree, wild red rice tossed through with rice vinegar and mixed with flash-boiled samphire, roast chestnut mushrooms and caramel coated baked sage leaves.

I am aware that sounds like nothing that should go together but it did. HOWEVER, do not attempt to reheat this the next day at work. Ever.

— 10 months ago with 1 note
#Roast chicken  #Sage  #Coconut 
Oh I’m sure I should call this deconstructed burritos but it’s not really. Braised beans, braised greens, sort of fajita type chicken and peppers and onions with spices (cumin, paprika and cayenne I think) and salad, cheese, sour cream, etc.

It’s not beautiful or technically adept but it’s a good weekday supper.

Oh I’m sure I should call this deconstructed burritos but it’s not really. Braised beans, braised greens, sort of fajita type chicken and peppers and onions with spices (cumin, paprika and cayenne I think) and salad, cheese, sour cream, etc.

It’s not beautiful or technically adept but it’s a good weekday supper.

— 10 months ago
#chicken  #spring greens  #red kidney beans  #aduki beans 
Curried mince (like keema masala but not, basically) bulked out with grated carrot, made and made aromatic rather than hot, cos lettuce with a rudimentary cucumber raita and finished with fresh coriander and a cherry tomato.
To do the mince, chop up an onion, red chillis, and garlic, add them to a frying pan with a little hot oil, then once the onion has softened add cumin, tandoori masala (a beautiful red aromatic spice mix, a little like garam masala I guess) and cinnamon, then the mince and let it cook for a few minutes on a lower heat (to avoid the meat toughening and becoming chewy) then slowly add a little warm stock and the carrots and let it cook down. If you’d like it hotter, add cayenne pepper gradually through the cooking process. I should’ve put peas in it to make it look more like keema masala but I completely forgot.

Curried mince (like keema masala but not, basically) bulked out with grated carrot, made and made aromatic rather than hot, cos lettuce with a rudimentary cucumber raita and finished with fresh coriander and a cherry tomato.

To do the mince, chop up an onion, red chillis, and garlic, add them to a frying pan with a little hot oil, then once the onion has softened add cumin, tandoori masala (a beautiful red aromatic spice mix, a little like garam masala I guess) and cinnamon, then the mince and let it cook for a few minutes on a lower heat (to avoid the meat toughening and becoming chewy) then slowly add a little warm stock and the carrots and let it cook down. If you’d like it hotter, add cayenne pepper gradually through the cooking process. I should’ve put peas in it to make it look more like keema masala but I completely forgot.

— 10 months ago
#Mince  #Cucumber  #Raita  #Grated carrot 
One from the weekend: roasted duck leg off the bone (roasted with mandarin slices, garlic, cumin, mace and five spice) with a salad of cos lettuce, peppers, grated carrot (to go with the sweet citrus flavours) and roasted chillis and chives to top, dressed with the juices from the roasting tray.
We’re eating a lot of cos lettuce at the minute because of my strict rules about not buying cash crops from regions with regular hunger problems or food that’s travelled a long distance; it’s one of the first British salad leaves of the year.
The stuff on Mogfood isn’t occasion meals (normally- I tend to indicate if it actually is) and so you see a lot of what’s just cycling through my kitchen. I try to be as environmentally friendly and food-efficient as possible so since there’s only two of us, the same thing tends to crop up as an ingredient a few times a week to ensure there’s no waste.

One from the weekend: roasted duck leg off the bone (roasted with mandarin slices, garlic, cumin, mace and five spice) with a salad of cos lettuce, peppers, grated carrot (to go with the sweet citrus flavours) and roasted chillis and chives to top, dressed with the juices from the roasting tray.

We’re eating a lot of cos lettuce at the minute because of my strict rules about not buying cash crops from regions with regular hunger problems or food that’s travelled a long distance; it’s one of the first British salad leaves of the year.

The stuff on Mogfood isn’t occasion meals (normally- I tend to indicate if it actually is) and so you see a lot of what’s just cycling through my kitchen. I try to be as environmentally friendly and food-efficient as possible so since there’s only two of us, the same thing tends to crop up as an ingredient a few times a week to ensure there’s no waste.

— 10 months ago with 1 note
#salad  #duck leg  #chillis 
Not the most beautiful thing I’ve ever cooked (or well not the most photogenic) but it was a post-gym simple supper.
Chestnut mushroom and spring green bhaji:
Fry up chopped onions (I used one small red and one small white but it doesn’t really matter what, so long as it’s finely chopped), chopped garlic, turmeric, mustard (just the stuff in a jar will do, although I realise this is borderline-sacrilege-NB I mean English mustard, not American mustard) and add another spoonful if you’ve suddenly run out of turmeric, a teaspoonful of fenugreek seeds and chopped birds eye chillis (if you like a lot of heat- a sprinkling of chilli if not) then add water and chopped chestnut mushrooms and leave to cook down. Meanwhile, quickly boil the shredded spring greens (remove the stalks) to soften them, then after 3-4 minutes, drain them and fold the fried spices, onions and mushrooms into the same pan. Add a bit more water if it’s looking like it’s going to burn onto the bottom and water fry for about another ten minutes before adding a spoonful of honey and mixing in thoroughly just before serving.
And baked salmon (bake with a little bit of soy, wrapped in foil at first to keep it juicy- I was doing it from frozen so baked it at 200C for about 35 minutes in foil and then took the foil off to brown it for the last 5 minutes, it was tender and sweet and delicious) and fresh shredded dill and coriander to give a clean taste over the earthier mushroom and spring greens.
That’s easily my least coherent recipe ever- blame trying to write on my phone.
NB: you may be thinking ‘what the hell, that is not a bhaji, I’ve had a bhaji it was a fritter’ -bhaji is kind of a loose concept tbh but the separate-cooking and then folding in of the spice mix is similar to a brinjal bhaji (aubergine side dish you may have had from takeaways etc.) so although it should have more ghee in it to be a 100% valid description it’s kind of the easiest way to describe it and certainly no less perverse than the sort of sad, damp plastic item you get in a supermarket claiming to be an onion bhaji.

Not the most beautiful thing I’ve ever cooked (or well not the most photogenic) but it was a post-gym simple supper.

Chestnut mushroom and spring green bhaji:

Fry up chopped onions (I used one small red and one small white but it doesn’t really matter what, so long as it’s finely chopped), chopped garlic, turmeric, mustard (just the stuff in a jar will do, although I realise this is borderline-sacrilege-NB I mean English mustard, not American mustard) and add another spoonful if you’ve suddenly run out of turmeric, a teaspoonful of fenugreek seeds and chopped birds eye chillis (if you like a lot of heat- a sprinkling of chilli if not) then add water and chopped chestnut mushrooms and leave to cook down. Meanwhile, quickly boil the shredded spring greens (remove the stalks) to soften them, then after 3-4 minutes, drain them and fold the fried spices, onions and mushrooms into the same pan. Add a bit more water if it’s looking like it’s going to burn onto the bottom and water fry for about another ten minutes before adding a spoonful of honey and mixing in thoroughly just before serving.

And baked salmon (bake with a little bit of soy, wrapped in foil at first to keep it juicy- I was doing it from frozen so baked it at 200C for about 35 minutes in foil and then took the foil off to brown it for the last 5 minutes, it was tender and sweet and delicious) and fresh shredded dill and coriander to give a clean taste over the earthier mushroom and spring greens.

That’s easily my least coherent recipe ever- blame trying to write on my phone.

NB: you may be thinking ‘what the hell, that is not a bhaji, I’ve had a bhaji it was a fritter’ -bhaji is kind of a loose concept tbh but the separate-cooking and then folding in of the spice mix is similar to a brinjal bhaji (aubergine side dish you may have had from takeaways etc.) so although it should have more ghee in it to be a 100% valid description it’s kind of the easiest way to describe it and certainly no less perverse than the sort of sad, damp plastic item you get in a supermarket claiming to be an onion bhaji.

— 10 months ago
#Salmon  #Spring greens  #Chestnut mushrooms  #Dill  #Coriander